I was talking to my 61 year old neighbor Eileen last week and I was shocked to see her walking with a new puppy on the street. You see, Eileen has been our neighbor for the last ten years and she never -- NOT EVEN ONCE - goes out. She does the shopping by hiring a gardener to do it for her. Eileen has been suffering from Agoraphobia for the last ten years. No, it isn't a fatal disease, it's the feeling that one feels unsafe unless inside a familiar place -- like ones own home. I was glad to see Eileen OUT of the house and bathing in the sun, something she hadn't done for years. She did tell me, "You know, now I know that there is nothing to fear at all.." I asked, "What happened.. was it a miracle or anything? Did you just wake up and realize this?" She went, "No, of course not...my grandson Ben left me this dog... and I felt it was not fair to keep him so confined inside my home". That made me think of TRYING to walk my dog. At first, the thought was terrifying because I always have anxiety attacks when I step out my gate. Sure enough I had a panic attack the first time I tried.. I kept on anyway for the dog's sake and I realized that panic attacks do not kill... okay, they're uncomfortable but they can't kill me. The next day I went out again and I still had panic attacks but they didn't kill me again so I thought it was okay.. third day, I knew that I was missing ten years of my life by being afraid... now, I am beating all my fears!". Isn't it sometimes a wonder that a pet can be the "cure"?

Gerard my friend is such a charmer, the type who could charm kids to give up their candies.Yet, he doesn't have a girlfriend and neither is he g$y. I was rather embarrassed to ask him why he seemed capable of selling a million dollar plane but not able to convince a chick to go out with him on a date. Anyway since he was rather closer to my other friend Tina, I told her, "Why don't you ask Gerard out?" Tina told me, "Didn't you know?". I asked if he was married and he was married and she replied, "of course not!". So what was the matter with Gerard I insisted and Tina gave me a knowing smile. I forgot about Gerard for days until I saw him again when I was scheduled to have my yearly check up. I saw him and said "Hi!" and wondered what he was doing at a hospital.. In fact, I thought he was sick with some dreaded disease which was why he didn't want to risk having a relationship. I also found out that we had the same surgeon who didn't want to tell me either what was wrong with Gerald. It was the nurse, Becky, who whispered to me :" Gerard wasn't always a guy.. he's into therapy a lot trying to get used to the fact that he is now a man... you see, s$x transplants can have psychological effects..." I almost fell out of my chair I was so shocked. Now a part of me is kind of ashamed for liking Gerard, but another part of me can't help it!

Yesterday my friend Abby dropped by with her two parrots. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and it was great seeing Abby and her two parrots that kept saying " Let it be, let it be, let it be.." After a while, it was my friend Ellen who arrived and seeing Abby and her parrots she asked, "Why do they keep saying 'let it be"?" Abby pointed out that she had trained her parrots for affirmations. She explained, "You know, we should all let things be.. que sera sera.. things usually turn out alright anyway, so these parrots remind me that there is no need to fret about anything". I thought point well taken but Ellen thought that it was weird having parrots saying "let it be" all day and night long. I didn't want to pursue the discussion because I didn't think it was wise to offend any of my two friends. Anyway we were having a pleasant conversation over some snacks when my brother Dennis came in. He saw the parrot and shouted "Bugsey is here.. Bugsey is here!" Bugsey happens to be our dog and he didn't like other animals... in fact, he probably would make those parrots his dinner. Abby quickly tried and take the cage to the highest place she could see , which was the top of our fridge while Ellen jokingly declared. "Hey, I thought you'd let it be.. give the dog a nice dinner and let it be!"

I really got this talent for writing songs. I have had some of my songs performed by some local artists. What I want to do is performed my own songs though. My friends say that I got a lot of talent. I write the old fashioned stuff. I guess I’m just a romantic at heart because I will write about my girlfriend Maria. When I see her it just starts all kind of notes floating through my mind. I’ll see her smile and think of red smiling lips brushing against mine. Just like that I’ll have the start to a new song. I tried to get on American Idol. I waited all day when they came to Atlanta last year. I must have been number 2000 or something. I finally had to leave because I work at night and needed to get to my job. Everybody keeps telling me to not give up and I just need to get my music out there in the right hands. I heard about this dude that was promoting a lot of new artist and I’m thinking that he just might be what I need. I don’t have a lot of money or equipment. It’s just mostly me and what I write but I don’t want to miss out on a good opportunity. I know you got to lay some dough out there to get something back but I don’t know cause you got so many scams going on now that somebody might just take my work and make it a hit without paying. Another friend told me doing some webcams. He said there’s this site where you upload your performance like on youtube but the people actually pay to see your performance. I don’t think I am ready for all that but I don’t want to miss out on something that could turn out big. They got a lot of big producers here in Atlanta and I just know that if I could hook up with some of them I could make my name. I am not scared to try I just want to be careful and not have somebody take my songs and I get nothing for them.

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