My bff text me that she saw my boyfriend at the mall with another chick. I thought he had been cheating on me so I had told my girl Michelle to keep a eye out if she sees him. We have been together for 2 yrs & he is the only man for me. He is a little older but that makes it so much better. I was virgin when we started talking so he was the first. has been the only man I have ever had s$x with. I love him so much I would do anything for him. I have started thinking that he may not be that in to me as he use to. We use to go out all the time n he would take me to romanctic getaways on the weekend. He has a lot of money too so he would always buy me whatever I saw at the mall. If I saw a pair of gold earrings he would just say go ahead get them & pay for them. Lately though he doesn’t come around like he should. I have not seen him for 2 dys and when I call him he says he was in a mtg n will call me back just as soon as he gets out. It might be the next day before he does. Last week he was talking about doing more exciting things. I said yeah we can do whatever you want. I told him I was down for anything. He said that he thought t my friend Michelle was hot and maybe we could all have some fun together. I said yes she would love to go shopping with us. She knows you buy me the best stuff ever. He said no not like that. He said I mean in the bedroom. I just couldn’t believe I had heard him right so I asked him what did you say. So he said it again. He said I think we would all have a lot of fun. I told him Michelle don’t play like that. she has her boyfriend who she would never cheat on anyway. Michelle is my bff but I don’t want to share my man with her and I couldn’t believe he would disrespect me like that anyway. I think my boyfriend has found somebody else who will play his games with him instead of me but I love him so much that I don’t want to lose him. I’m thinking maybe I should ask Michelle if she will do what he wants.

I feel like a dirty old woman. Mostly men get this title but in this case I probably deserve it. I have been seeing this guy Jared for a few weeks. He is a really mature guy and carries himself well so I guess that’s what fooled me. I met him at this really nice night spot where you can sit at the bar, have a nice drink and hear a little jazz playing in the background. I was there with Sandra, my friend when he approached us. He was very nice looking and spoke so well that I just assumed he was my age, 27 or older. He’s a big guy, but with a great build. He asked if we ladies mind if he sat with us. I thought at first he was interested in Sandra but he turned to me and complimented me on my dress. We had a few drinks and he asked if he could call me. I said yes because he was really nice and I thought what the h$@l, I’m between men anyway. I had almost forgotten about him when he called a couple of days later and asked me out to dinner. We had a great time at this sushi place and I took him back to my place. I am a lady who knows what she wants and I saw nothing wrong with having s$x when I want to. We used condoms and had a great time. He was very well endowed and had a lot of stamina. Who wouldn’t enjoy themselves with this kind of pleasure? I thought to myself that I could fall hard for this guy. He told me he was in college, finally getting that degree. I just thought that he was one of those guys who go back to school later in life and work full time on the side. I asked him where he was going and he said UCLA. I said wow, isn’t that a coincidence. My baby brother just started there also. You know there’s a 9 year difference in our age but I love my kid brother. I let it drop after that and didn’t think about it until my brother called me. We were just talking and he said you know Nancy i've met some great guys here. One of them is in my lab and he helps me out a lot. He’s a great guy and we even went to the same high school but he was in a different class so I didn’t really know him then. I said sure I’ll meet your little friends.I love to tease him about age because he is so much younger than me. I told him by the way I met a really great guy and he goes to UCLA also. I said his name is Jared Solquin. My brother said wow, that’s my lab partner's name. I asked him to describe him and it’s the same guy. I can’t believe it but I am having s$x with a 18 year old kid.

You never hear about 25 year old virgins anymore and you really don’t hear about dudes still being a virgin but I was both. I don’t even like to say the word because it sounds so pitiful. I have had several girl friends but it’s hard dating in New York city. I live out in the Bronx with my parents. Yeah I know that sounds pitiful too. A 25 year old male virgin who lives in his parent’s basement. I have tried to get over this being a virgin a thousand times but always something happens that stops it before I get there. Either the girl’s mom comes home or my mom comes home or I don’t have a condom or she don’t know what to do either. Anyway I wanted to get this over with once and for all. I have this friend named Denise who I have been chuming around with for a while. She’s not that good looking but she is a nice girl. I asked her to the movies and it was one of those chick flicks so she was cool with that. We went back to my place and was sitting around my room in the basement. I made my move and started rubbing on her some and kissing her. She didn’t object so I kept it up. I finally got her blouse off and she still didn’t stop me. This time I had a condom and managed to get it out of my drawer by the bed. To make a long story short I finally did the do. Since this was my first time I don’t have anything to compare it with but I do think it was good for me. Maybe not so good for her. She wasn’t no virgin but she didn’t seem to like it that much. In fact she got up and went to the bathroom for a long time and when she came out she said she was ready to go home. I didn’t call her the next day because really I didn’t know what to say. Now I’m wondering if she going to tell anybody what we did. I mean we both know some of the same people and if she tells them that I was a virgin they might ride me about that. I kind of wish I hadn’t done it with her now.

Yesterday, my Katherine finally told me that she'd go out with me. Katherine has always been the type of girl who is a total romantic. I always knew this which is why I asked my buddy, Andre, to write me love letters for her. He always did for 20 bucks or some smokes. Andre is a Literature whiz, so writing love poems and letters seem to be something he easily does.. and most girls FALL for his romantic notes and letters. This afternoon, I had lunch with Andre at the school cafeteria and he said, "Aha.. now I have some dirt on you!". He could have meant it as a joke, but Andre is just dickish enough to actually say something to Kate for a laugh. I swear if he does.... h$@l I don't know. She may say something soppy like, "those words never came from your heart..". This worries me; aside from the thought that Andre may spill the beans and ruin my budding relationship with Katherine, he could start to blackmail him to buy his silence. I swear I WANT to tell Katherine the TRUTH as soon as possible, but we're just starting so the relationship isn't exactly on a strong foundation.. on the other hand, what if Andre tells her first? This girl is the total package and I would do almost anything (obviously) to have a shot with her.

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